[ Such a frank, cool appraisal stirred something in Tzilan. A muscle in one of his slender fingers twitched, and he inhaled an unnecessary breath just to breathe what scents which Sara's hair and clothes carried with it. ]
Not unreasonable. Not at all.
You... aren't alone, in the magnitude of your losses. And it's in large part a reason I'm glad you're here.
[He can't quite work up the energy to respond as he normally would, witty and charming while carefully digging out and filing away more information. He's depressed, as he'd said, and emotionally drained from Shima's injury.
Still, he at least manages a faint smile and a gently teasing tone.]
Oh? Were you lonely? If you wanted company, you could have just asked.
[Shima, for her part, seems a little bored now that she isn't the center of attention, and too cautious of her injury to make more of a fuss. The little dragon drops her head back down against Tzilan's thigh, shifting slightly to get comfortable like she planned on taking a nap right there.]
[ He smiles, a little; the vaguely distant, emotionally wrung-out smile of someone too tired and distracted to resemble happiness.
But his hands stroked along Shima's neck, dark fingers gliding elegantly along it, ignoring a disapproving, trilling hiss from the shadow perched on the desk. ]
You lost a country; but it is more than just loneliness you feel. Directionless ambition, lost focus and momentum...
So, too, with me. Company alone... isn't enough. But the right company, helps.
[His smile slips, and for a moment he just blinks up at this strange, too-understanding man.]
Oh.
[It's a bit too accurate an observation. It leave him feeling exposed and vulnerable, despite all the sympathy in it. It doesn't help that he's on his knees before him. Saralegui's hand, left idly on Shima's flank, slips and brushes against Tzilan's leg. He pulls his hand back too quickly, and then colors faintly at his own reaction.
Dropping his gaze stubbornly to his little dragon where she's obliviously nodding off, he forces easiness into his tone, clinging to an image of unflappable charm.]
You know, if you talk like that, you'll never get rid of me.
We're here discussing our shared plight, individually alone upon a world at the outermost edge of imagining, the lives we once led vanished like mist upon morning. All we have left is the men we made ourselves to be in those lives, and the uncertainty that haunts every trickling second as we wade through them towards an even more-unknowable future.
For my part, at least, I've tried my best to make you understand that I do not want to be rid of you. If anything, I think I need you. It is... heartening, to see a strange echo of myself reflected back at me. With the weight of so much memory, I will never not be lonely...
But... it is less lonely. And I'm not so proud that I won't grip onto that, tightly.
[ His hand, caressing Shima, continued to do so. As smooth and regular as a calm heartbeat, dark fingertips vanishing here and there into soft feathers. But his eyes were on Saralegui, glinting in the low light, and he leaned forward as he spoke, dropping his voice to something little better than a whisper. ]
[He doesn't think anyone's ever said they needed him his entire life.
With a silent display of willpower, he made himself make eye contact, at shyly up through his pale lashes. Even if doing so made him feel like his heart would collapse in on itself.].
You're very eloquent.
[It's a miracle he managed that much. He can't say how such astuteness leaves him feeling equal parts horrifyingly unguarded and achingly known, how he's heard a million variations of I want you but never anything so blunt and sincere and seemingly free of baser motivations. How he wants very badly to be less prideful like that, even if the logical, cautious part of him warns against it with a man he's only spoken to in two occasions.]
I was common-born; education was the first and best step on the path to power, for me. If I wanted to convince others I or my ideas had merit, I had to sound the part long before I could afford to look it.
[ He said it with good humor, knowing full well that almost all evidence of his early beginnings had been shed long ago. Like a serpent's skin. Leaving only what was polished and glossy and less prone to breaking.
But the statement seemed to remind him of himself, and he straightened a little, speaking less in whisper and more conversationally, his own eyes flitting to glance down at his own hands. ]
In this new world, it's proven... a useful talent.
[One eyebrow arches slightly, but he offers no comment on that little revelation. He doubts any would be appreciated, coming from someone noble-born. Even if Tzilan seems to like him, he'd rather not test his luck.
But he thought he understood, at least a little. No one expected anything from a common-born. No one expected anything from a bastard, either.]
Why, do dragons respond better if you speak to them like a scholar? Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong all this time.
[It's easier to relax with the other man's eyes off him. Saralegui even manages a hint of a smirk, leaning back on his heels.]
Your Shima might well, intelligent as she is. [ The last seemed almost directed at the pale dragon, a quiet, pleased croon. There was an undercurrent of laughter threading through his voice, though; an acknowledgement of the jest. ]
Ratha, I think, would prefer I hissed and snarled and fought for every small think between us. Obstinate creature; I only hope I'm fortunate enough that he grows large enough that all of his viciousness can be effective or useful in some way or other.
[ The dragon, bored with being ignored, leaned its long neck over the edge of the desk and began to nose into the drawers. The clawed thumbs of its wings helped it to cleverly tug and pull them open, and its long, lean tail lashed and waved while it explored.
Tzilan looked away from it, ignoring the sounds of small boxes and paper goods being rustled, instead considering Saralegui with... a strange, very frank regard. His lips compressed in hard thought, and he went... very still. Still as stone, before he inquired quietly, ]
The answer to that depends. How honest would you like me to be with you?
[Saralegui seemed to feel the stare and pulled his eyes away from the larger dragon, keeping a cool expression with a bit of effort under that look. It was silly to get flustered, he told himself. People always stare at him. This is no different.]
If I say "completely", would you actually be entirely honest with me? I'd rather not dance around the subject, whatever it is.
[Determinedly, he held Tzilan's gaze. He'd certainly prefer absolute honesty, and he didn't want there to be any doubt about that.]
But I'd do so under the understanding that you can reciprocate at least a modicum of discretion.
[ His stare went unbroken, unblinking. By some trick of the light, or his posture, he even seemed taller, somehow. Dark eyes glinting and cold, like black river stones freshly pulled from a snowmelt stream, all the heavy weight of his full attention on the pale man before him. He did not breathe. ]
[His first instincts generally leaned towards snark and levity, but he hadn't gotten as far as he has in life without the ability to read the mood of a situation. In the face of that heavy stare, Saralegui sobered up, his mouth pursing slightly.]
[ Tzilan watched Saralegui a long moment more before nodding. 'I am very discreet.'
Heaven help the young man if he wasn't. But it was a good first step... Trust had to be given first if it were ever to be reciprocated. ]
I came to this world with as mediocre a sum of wealth or esteem as any other outworlder. I've been, in secret and when currents and other factors are favorable, going out to see in hunt of ships carrying valuable but untraceable cargo. The captain, crew, and all living souls aboard, I kill.
I return the cargo in segments to port, here or elsewhere, under the painstakingly-built guise of a commodities merchant. It's ow I was able to afford a manse of such impressive size in this area against the mountain-- usually reserved for blue-blooded native families. It's the first step, growing wealth, but soon I mean to leverage it to buy my way into local politics as a magistrate of the port.
One step on a path that I mean to take me to the governorship of the city.
[Whatever he was expecting, it obviously wasn't that. But the surprise is only visible on his face for a moment before he schools his expression, carefully blank and decidedly neutral.]
...Some would call that immoral.
[Yuuri certainly wouldn't approve. Saralegui has to appreciate the efficiency of it, but he's not quite sure what kind of reaction is sought here. Did he want enthusiasm for the idea, or was he seeking disapproval in some roundabout test of character? Saralegui HADNT known Tzilan long enough to be sure.]
Not just some; many. I am not concerned with the smaller moral costs when confronted with the possible net gain of good which might be achieved in the near future. Every other month the city is under attack, there are no state-sponsored investigations into the gods or the means of our arrival... or into any of the significant disruptions our presence makes here. A few lives lost on the path to greater understanding of our situation... and its consequences not just for our old worlds, but the one we inhabit now.
[ He paused there, lips pinching... and leaned forward a little. ]
And if you aren't overly troubled by niggling immoralities...
[An amoral idealist. Saralegui almost scoffs, and a hint of a smirk does manage to escape him despite his efforts towards neutrality.]
It certainly sounds like you need help. I can already think of a few ways that could all go wrong and get you caught or killed.
[He shifts backwards off his knees to sit on the floor properly, arms resting on his knees while he adopts a thoughtful expression.]
...I'd bet that I could do it without killing anyone.
[Or rather, he knows he could. Though it would certainly be fun to see if he could come up with a scheme that doesn't use his eyes. He's never had to put his wits to use for something like making money, but the novelty of it could be nice.]
[ His brows inched towards his hairline, and his mouth pursed thoughtfully while he considered the other man, cradling the pale dragon mutely while he listened. ]
Trust me when I say I'm remarkably resilient. And--
[ It's clear by his expression that he's curious. Like a cat watching a pulled string, trying to decide if it was worth batting after. He set his shoulders. ]
I hadn't meant that you would join in on that scheme... No; I'm unfit for the public eye. I need... a partner, someone who can be the respectable face of an understanding. But I won't... wouldn't turn down sound advice.
I'd just have a talk with the crews. But I don't imagine my methods would work for anyone else. I'm just very persuasive.
[To say the least.]
Personally, I think you're plenty fit for the public eye. [He flashes a grin, and powers on before he can think too much about Tzilan's earlier words. It's easier to feel at ease when he could at least control the rhythm of the conversation.] But I suppose I can help out in that respect, if you'd rather stick to the shadows.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
enthraller) wrote2014-06-30 02:51 pm
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Not unreasonable. Not at all.
You... aren't alone, in the magnitude of your losses. And it's in large part a reason I'm glad you're here.
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Still, he at least manages a faint smile and a gently teasing tone.]
Oh? Were you lonely? If you wanted company, you could have just asked.
[Shima, for her part, seems a little bored now that she isn't the center of attention, and too cautious of her injury to make more of a fuss. The little dragon drops her head back down against Tzilan's thigh, shifting slightly to get comfortable like she planned on taking a nap right there.]
no subject
But his hands stroked along Shima's neck, dark fingers gliding elegantly along it, ignoring a disapproving, trilling hiss from the shadow perched on the desk. ]
You lost a country; but it is more than just loneliness you feel. Directionless ambition, lost focus and momentum...
So, too, with me. Company alone... isn't enough. But the right company, helps.
no subject
Oh.
[It's a bit too accurate an observation. It leave him feeling exposed and vulnerable, despite all the sympathy in it. It doesn't help that he's on his knees before him. Saralegui's hand, left idly on Shima's flank, slips and brushes against Tzilan's leg. He pulls his hand back too quickly, and then colors faintly at his own reaction.
Dropping his gaze stubbornly to his little dragon where she's obliviously nodding off, he forces easiness into his tone, clinging to an image of unflappable charm.]
You know, if you talk like that, you'll never get rid of me.
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For my part, at least, I've tried my best to make you understand that I do not want to be rid of you. If anything, I think I need you. It is... heartening, to see a strange echo of myself reflected back at me. With the weight of so much memory, I will never not be lonely...
But... it is less lonely. And I'm not so proud that I won't grip onto that, tightly.
[ His hand, caressing Shima, continued to do so. As smooth and regular as a calm heartbeat, dark fingertips vanishing here and there into soft feathers. But his eyes were on Saralegui, glinting in the low light, and he leaned forward as he spoke, dropping his voice to something little better than a whisper. ]
no subject
With a silent display of willpower, he made himself make eye contact, at shyly up through his pale lashes. Even if doing so made him feel like his heart would collapse in on itself.].
You're very eloquent.
[It's a miracle he managed that much. He can't say how such astuteness leaves him feeling equal parts horrifyingly unguarded and achingly known, how he's heard a million variations of I want you but never anything so blunt and sincere and seemingly free of baser motivations. How he wants very badly to be less prideful like that, even if the logical, cautious part of him warns against it with a man he's only spoken to in two occasions.]
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[ He said it with good humor, knowing full well that almost all evidence of his early beginnings had been shed long ago. Like a serpent's skin. Leaving only what was polished and glossy and less prone to breaking.
But the statement seemed to remind him of himself, and he straightened a little, speaking less in whisper and more conversationally, his own eyes flitting to glance down at his own hands. ]
In this new world, it's proven... a useful talent.
no subject
But he thought he understood, at least a little. No one expected anything from a common-born. No one expected anything from a bastard, either.]
Why, do dragons respond better if you speak to them like a scholar? Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong all this time.
[It's easier to relax with the other man's eyes off him. Saralegui even manages a hint of a smirk, leaning back on his heels.]
no subject
Ratha, I think, would prefer I hissed and snarled and fought for every small think between us. Obstinate creature; I only hope I'm fortunate enough that he grows large enough that all of his viciousness can be effective or useful in some way or other.
no subject
[He was smiling as he said it, but he didn't sound like he was joking. Even cast a glance toward the lurking black beast, quietly appreciative.
And luckily, Shima had dozed off and thus couldn't whine and protest.]
So how have you put that eloquence to work here, then?
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[ The dragon, bored with being ignored, leaned its long neck over the edge of the desk and began to nose into the drawers. The clawed thumbs of its wings helped it to cleverly tug and pull them open, and its long, lean tail lashed and waved while it explored.
Tzilan looked away from it, ignoring the sounds of small boxes and paper goods being rustled, instead considering Saralegui with... a strange, very frank regard. His lips compressed in hard thought, and he went... very still. Still as stone, before he inquired quietly, ]
The answer to that depends. How honest would you like me to be with you?
no subject
If I say "completely", would you actually be entirely honest with me? I'd rather not dance around the subject, whatever it is.
[Determinedly, he held Tzilan's gaze. He'd certainly prefer absolute honesty, and he didn't want there to be any doubt about that.]
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But I'd do so under the understanding that you can reciprocate at least a modicum of discretion.
[ His stare went unbroken, unblinking. By some trick of the light, or his posture, he even seemed taller, somehow. Dark eyes glinting and cold, like black river stones freshly pulled from a snowmelt stream, all the heavy weight of his full attention on the pale man before him. He did not breathe. ]
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I'm very discreet. What is it?
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Heaven help the young man if he wasn't. But it was a good first step... Trust had to be given first if it were ever to be reciprocated. ]
I came to this world with as mediocre a sum of wealth or esteem as any other outworlder. I've been, in secret and when currents and other factors are favorable, going out to see in hunt of ships carrying valuable but untraceable cargo. The captain, crew, and all living souls aboard, I kill.
I return the cargo in segments to port, here or elsewhere, under the painstakingly-built guise of a commodities merchant. It's ow I was able to afford a manse of such impressive size in this area against the mountain-- usually reserved for blue-blooded native families. It's the first step, growing wealth, but soon I mean to leverage it to buy my way into local politics as a magistrate of the port.
One step on a path that I mean to take me to the governorship of the city.
no subject
...Some would call that immoral.
[Yuuri certainly wouldn't approve. Saralegui has to appreciate the efficiency of it, but he's not quite sure what kind of reaction is sought here. Did he want enthusiasm for the idea, or was he seeking disapproval in some roundabout test of character? Saralegui HADNT known Tzilan long enough to be sure.]
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[ He paused there, lips pinching... and leaned forward a little. ]
And if you aren't overly troubled by niggling immoralities...
... I'd ask that you help me.
no subject
It certainly sounds like you need help. I can already think of a few ways that could all go wrong and get you caught or killed.
[He shifts backwards off his knees to sit on the floor properly, arms resting on his knees while he adopts a thoughtful expression.]
...I'd bet that I could do it without killing anyone.
[Or rather, he knows he could. Though it would certainly be fun to see if he could come up with a scheme that doesn't use his eyes. He's never had to put his wits to use for something like making money, but the novelty of it could be nice.]
no subject
Trust me when I say I'm remarkably resilient. And--
[ It's clear by his expression that he's curious. Like a cat watching a pulled string, trying to decide if it was worth batting after. He set his shoulders. ]
I hadn't meant that you would join in on that scheme... No; I'm unfit for the public eye. I need... a partner, someone who can be the respectable face of an understanding. But I won't... wouldn't turn down sound advice.
How would you do it?
no subject
I'd just have a talk with the crews. But I don't imagine my methods would work for anyone else. I'm just very persuasive.
[To say the least.]
Personally, I think you're plenty fit for the public eye. [He flashes a grin, and powers on before he can think too much about Tzilan's earlier words. It's easier to feel at ease when he could at least control the rhythm of the conversation.] But I suppose I can help out in that respect, if you'd rather stick to the shadows.